Demystifying Project Hailstorm

The Stadia 2.52 APK was recently decompiled by 9to5google and in their article, they found a reference to a mysterious “Project Hailstorm”. If you’ve been active in the Stadia community, you might have seen all sorts of crazy speculation and wild theories.

Here at The Stadia Life, we have journalistic integrity and tact, so will not help to perpetuate baseless rumours and conspiracy theories. We want only the truth and therefore we present to you our 100% official and definitely probably maybe confirmed list of what Project Hailstorm will deliver! [Disclaimer: This is definitely not official and we’re almost certainly incorrect with many of these theories]

1. Netflix Project Hailstorm

“Wait” I hear you cry “Are we not talking about Stadia here?”.

Oh my dear sweet winter child, of course, we are! Though first me must harken back to the bleak old days before Netflix was installed on every TV, phone, toaster, Microsoft Zune, and just about anything with a screen. Back then, if you wanted your Netflix fix, you’d better pray to the lords of the web that your device supports it. Thankfully Project Hailstorm came to the rescue!

This will be a very simplified explanation, but in essence, this was a project that aimed to make it much easier for Netflix to be integrated into as many devices as possible to reach the masses and contributed to why Netflix is as widely available as it is.

So, what does this mean for Stadia?

Well, the project name alongside the recent announcement from LG integrating Stadia into their 2021 TV line-up could be an indication that Stadia could be preparing to integrate into more devices natively!

TSL theory supporters - Vivi & cim

Crazy scale rating - 2/10

2. A Blizzard is coming

Hailstorm? Blizzard? Blizzard games?!

Ok, it’s a bit of a stretch given Activision Blizzard has thus far expressed no interest in Stadia nor Cloud gaming in general, but think about it this way. Blizzards contain hail and they’re both cold!

We also posit this question, dear reader. How is D.Va able to play competitive games from a mobile device when in the middle of a battlefield? I know of no handheld device capable of such a feat… Unless… By Jove! She must be using Stadia! Now, why would Blizzard have D.Va, one of the most well-known Overwatch characters play on Stadia if they didn't have plans to bring Overwatch to Stadia?
Do we need more conclusive evidence? I think not!

TSL supporters - Vivi

Crazy scale rating - 5/10

3. Operation Airdrop

First, they gave away the Premiere bundle with YouTube Premium, then with CyberPunk 2077. We can see that the team are wanting to get Stadia hardware into the hands of as many people as possible and they aren’t afraid of giving them away for free.

We have also seen that Project Loon has recently been closed meaning that they have an abundance of decommissioned air balloons capable of carrying heavy payloads and nothing really to do with them… Or do they?

We here at The Stadia Life put it to you that the leaking of Project Hailstorm and the closing of Project Loon is not mere coincidence, nay! It is the opposite, they are directly related!

We believe that Stadia plan to launch their Loons high above populated areas carrying a payload of Premiere bundles ready to distribute Stadia to the masses. Why get people to sign up to receive the hardware when you can force it upon them?!

“Oh, but wouldn’t this cause injury?”. Again, we believe that the Stadia team has this covered with tiny little parachutes!

TSL supporters - M3t4lw01f

Crazy scale rating - 10/10

4. The cloud is raining games upon us

We all know that Stadia have been working on their portfolio of first-party developers with Journey to the Savage Planet: Employee of the Month Edition coming in February. 

The dictionary describes a hailstorm as “a sudden heavy fall of hail” which isn’t useful in this context, however, we know it’s a deluge of slushy stuff from the clouds that usually seems to come from nowhere. So, would it be that we’re getting a deluge of teasers for upcoming games from the cloud?

We certainly hope so. It’ll be exciting what first-party games have in-store for us given the unique potential advantages of having a game run in the cloud presents. Let’s hope those grey clouds overhead really do signal an incoming downpour!

TSL supporters - cim

Crazy scale rating - 5/10

Definitely real screenshot from “Shooting Star”

5. Stadia comes home to Nest

Stadia and Nest. Both companies have one thing in common and that’s that they both come from the same parent company. So, what happens when you combine siblings? [Our lawyers have instructed me to remove this segment of this article...] just like in A Game of Thrones!

Spud’s Uncle Google (definitely their real uncle and not at all made up) has informed them that Stadia and Nest are teaming up to bring unprecedented immersion to your games!

Uncle Google has allegedly informed us that Nest plans to bring a device into your home that will measure the weather outside at this very moment (well, not this moment, but the moment in the future for which we’re referring) and then mimic those very conditions in-game! Imagine it, you’re playing F1 and leading in your race, when all of a sudden, a downpour of rain starts rapping on your windows. Just then your car skids out, crashing into the barrier and leaving you in dead last! Ultimate immersion achieved! Also, you’ll love that acid rain!

TSL supporters - Spud

Crazy scale rating - 8/10

6. Hidden in plain sight!

Any detectives among us will have already seen it. It was right in front of us the whole time and we at The Stadia Life want you to discover it for yourself, so we shall not spoil it for you. Instead, we’ll link you to the video released a long time ago that might hold the answer we’re looking for! Trust us, you’ll know it when you see it!
https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ 

TSL supporters - Vivi & cim

Crazy scale rating - 7/10

7. It was all in the maths!

Project Hailstorm. 

Project = never-ending. 

Hail storm. Hail = tiny = mod & storm = bunch of == never-ending bunch of mods. 

Stadia is getting a never-ending mod workshop. You heard it here first! Mod support is coming to Stadia, and we can’t wait! 

Many people have dismissed the idea of Mod support on Stadia as impossible due to not having direct access to the files. However, that doesn’t prevent mod support. If we could develop mods and submit them to the developer, why could they not curate a mod workshop (similar to that of Steams Workshop)? In this way, the mods could be user-created, toggles on and off plus there’s the benefit of developer approval. Sorry for anyone wanting any of those slightly more risque mods, but those probably won’t make it.

TSL supporters - cim

Crazy scale rating - 6/10

So, those were some of our ideas of what Project Hailstorm might look like. Do you have any other ideas or theories? Feel free to leave a comment or reach out to us on Twitter @thestadialife

- Vivi & The Stadia Life team

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